Here we are...

Just off the Port Bow—a place of uncertainty, adventure, and insight. Thank you for your ears, eyes and hearts. I hope to bring compassion, grace and beauty to your day.

Holy Silence (Part Three)

It is all about living in the present moment...and not living in one's head.

My current challenge on this front is a bit daunting, but I am excited about it. I began this work on the I.M.S. retreat. I have made a list of all the major and minor anxious moments in my life, the ones I can recall. Many of them still trouble me deeply. I have rank-0rdered them on a 1 to 10 scale; least to most anxious.

My plan is to sit with these memories one at a time, beginning with the least anxiety producing ones. I will look for the locus of the anxious feeling in my body and meditate on/breathe into that place until the anxiety is dispersed. When I feel at peace with that memory I will move on to the next.

It is important that I deal with the present feeling in my body, not an intellectual analysis of the memory or the feeling. Here is mindfulness in the present being used in the service of making peace with the past.

Part of what I do will need to include bringing Metta to that body memory. "Compassion and Grace on this fear (when I remember careering down a steep hill on my tricycle - quite out of control - and much to the horror of my mother)."

Even as I write down this relatively low anxiety memory I feel a familiar numbness settling in, shielding me from the fears. I have let the numbness control and manage these fears throughout my life, and am eager to mindfully and directly confront these fears.

I'll keep you posted.



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Holy Silence (Part Four)

Holy Silence (Part Two)