Here we are...

Just off the Port Bow—a place of uncertainty, adventure, and insight. Thank you for your ears, eyes and hearts. I hope to bring compassion, grace and beauty to your day.

Background Noise

I have been working on a meditation practice for the past three years.  Martin Laird's book, Into the Silent Land, got me going in the right direction.  Using an iPhone app, Simply Being, was a great tool.  The practice itself has been hit and miss.  I do have a good working mantra ("Your Love").

The one constant is Background Noise.  This is a given.  Were there none I might do well to check my pulse.

A practice of meditation thrives on the acceptance and sublimation of this background noise.  You can't just ignore it or wish it away.  The noise is always there.  Accepting it and moving through it make the difference.

Well, here, for the sake of acceptance, is a sampling of this noise....which feels a bit like listening to the children who used to be interviewed by Art Linkletter (Kids say the darn'dest things).  Where does this stuff come from?

Earbuds in....timer set at 20 minutes....Start....

<Breath in....Your love.....hold it.....breath out......

Breath in.....Your love...ache in left knee....breath out......

Earworm (Neil Diamond, You got to me)....late breath in.....quick breath out...your love....

Breath in....Your love....Earworm (theme music from Lillyhammer)....breath in

Out/Breath in...."image".....Your love....add pasta to market list...."talk"....Out/breath in

Breath in.....your love...hold it.....breath out and down.....there's my left knee

Breath in....earworm(you pick).....breath out

Name of actor in Parenthood....starts with letter "B"....breath in......breath....

"C"..."D"....."E"....."F"......no, "P" (Peter Krause!)....breath out.....

Breath....next weekend plans....Your love.....plans.....breath...plans.....

Breath in....Your Love....hold it......change plans?......breath

(5 minutes of going over 8 versions of what those plans might look like and how they might play with Mary, family, the weather, the Republican Party, Hugh Grant, our deer population, etc.)

BREATH IN.....YOUR LOVE.....HOLD IT.......(2 more minutes on 3 other versions of the plans)

BREATH OUT

Breath in.....Your love.....how am I doing time-wise?....breath out

Breath in....Your love....hold it....now go deep.....deeper....."image"......

Breath INNNN.....your love....cough.....scratch left ear....need to use lotion....breath in/out?

Cough....scratch.....tension in lower legs......change position.....your love...breathhhhh

Relax....let go.....focus on the meditation......Earworm (Lillyhammer)......breath out

Who was the guest star on Arrested Development?  Is Ron Howard really that bald?   Amazing!

Breath out/in/out/INNNNN....your love.....I'm a mess....hold it....breath ouwwww......cough!

Ok, now it's time to end the meditation.  Take the time to come out slowly.  Stretch, move around a bit, and when you're ready, open your eyes.

Breath In....Your Love....hold it......breath deep....and slowly.....and hold it....and out.....

Breath In....Your Love....hold it......breath deep....and slowly.....and hold it....and out.....

Breath In....Your Love....hold it......breath deep....and slowly.....and hold it....and out.....

Eye socket tapping:  Even though I have feelings of guilt, uncertainty and fears of worthlessness, I completely love and accept myself (3X)>

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Here it is.  There I am.  I suspect I am not alone there, or here.

And, that's the rock bottom truth which encourages me this morning.  On neither a social, nor emotional, nor cosmic level am I alone.  YOUR love is with me.  (YOU, God.....YOU, Mary.....YOU, my sibling....YOU, my friend....YOU, my neighbor.....YOU, the stranger....YOU, the quiet and uncertain woods.....YOU, the world......Love is with ME)

The background noise is always there (kinda like the tinnitus with which I am afflicted).  Its presence is not a judgment, just a presence.  My practice is not a test, just a practice.

The End of Prayer...as I have known it.

Please tell me what works!